our little Pear has gone from this:
I know that babies grow fast. I know that the tininess and neediness of newborn are so fleeting. But isn't seven weeks still sort of newborn? She doesn't seem newborn to me anymore. She is totally baby now. Letting go of the newborn has been pretty happy in some respects (hooray for sleeping 4 hours at a time at night instead of the 1 1/2 that she was fond of for the first month), but I can't keep my heart from racing and my breath from getting a little rapid when I realize how impossibly FAST she is growing. I hope I am soaking her in enough, I hope that I have relished the delight that is her sugar-sweet milk breath on my neck while I burp her in those middle-of-the-night feedings. She is all joy and love and I hope I never feel too tired or busy to bask in her the way I did her older brother.
The dynamic of being a mama to a newborn baby AND a 2 1/2 year old is a little different than just being mama to a newborn or just being mama to a 2 1/2 year old, but I feel such determination to give both of them the parts of me that they need. As I get the hang of this I am also realizing that there is a hierarchy of needs/wants and I am trying not to beat myself up about not getting to them all the way I could when there was only one little person to care for. Today G doesn't have his hair combed and breakfast and lunch have consisted of three yogurts, but we played airplanes while the baby napped and he cuddled in my lap to get "warm and toasty" while we watched a "tiny show" together. And my bed isn't made today, and I didn't change the little Pear's onesie (even though I knew she had spit up on it) before I put her outfit on this morning, but I spent a good hour in the rocking chair with her before she fell asleep this afternoon, just nursing and burping and nursing and burping until she finally dozed off. Maybe once our schedule gets a little more predictable I will be able to get to everything, and maybe this is just going to be what life is like from here on out (which is quite lovely in its own real, not-always-put-together sort of way), but I hope so much that I can be wise and prayerful in which things I choose to get to and which things I learn to let go of from day to day.
I have so many stories (G has been saying/doing the funniest things lately) and pictures (especially of our super-speedy growing baby) that I want to post. Both babies have been napping AT THE SAME TIME in the afternoon for a couple of days now, and if I can somehow work my magical sleeping-schedule powers to make this continue, I will be able to post them soon. Let's all keep our fingers crossed, mmmkay?