Saturday, January 26, 2008

a series of unfortunate events

The past two weeks with Baby G have been rough. He has gotten pounded with one thing after another. Here is the list:
  • throw up--luckily this was only once, but if quantity counts for anything this was a doozy... he covered me, the ottoman, himself, and the floor
  • diarrhea--very unpleasant, resulting in way too many diaper changes, resulting in
  • his first diaper rash-- oh, it was bad. It was so bad. He would flex his little bum cheeks and start whining whenever I'd even begin to take off his clothes to change him. We spent two days at home all day just so that we could leave his diaper off and just rinse his bottom instead of wiping
  • fever-- we thought this was due to teething, and his gums seemed sore for a day or so, but now we're not so sure
  • stuffy/runny nose-- seriously, the kid cannot breathe when he nurses. He has to periodically yank his mouth off just to catch his breath. It is both sad and funny
  • cough-- a horrible ailment that makes it much harder to stay asleep and has resulted in
  • a raspy voice-- which is actually very cute and pretty much the only redeeming thing about any of this

So after almost a week and a half of this (I thought he was just teething mixed with a bad cold so I didn't worry too much) I decided to call his pediatrician. They said to bring him in just because it wasn't getting better. So I did. And they found

  • an earache-- I had considered that he may have one, but ruled it out because he did not seem to be in any pain at all and wasn't pulling at his ears a bit. The doctor said that it actually had just started which made me feel a lot better about not getting him in sooner. Poor little guy.

While Baby G has definitely not been himself over the past 2 weeks (fussier and more needy-- he cries if left alone in a room for even a second), he hasn't really been that bad either. The doctor who saw him was shocked at how smiley and cooperative he was with her for being as sick as he was. He really has been an angel and it has been really difficult not to know how to help him get back to feeling like himself. He is on antibiotics for the ear infection and seems to be on the mend. We will keep praying for that because I am growing weary (and so is he)... after a couple of months of sleeping soundly through the night he is back to waking up a few times and needing J or I to go help him get back to sleep.

Why can't someone just invent a vaccine for all of this already?

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

my how time flies

Dear Baby Boy,

You came into my world 6 months ago today. You were so tiny and perfect and I remember filling up with a love so fierce that I thought I could never love you more. Since that first time I held you though, I have found myself overcome with how my love for you continues to get stronger and stronger with every new moment I have with you. You have filled my soul with such a tremendous abundance of happiness and today, on your 1/2 birthday, I wish to tell you some things that will always be true.

I love every little tiny thing about you. I love your big blue eyes and long eye lashes. I love the way you burrow your face into my shoulder and chest when you are tired or hungry. I love your tall, perfect body and your chubby cheeks. I love the way you smile at your daddy. I love your laugh. I love all of the precious sounds you make and the way that you sing and babble when you get tired to put yourself to sleep. I love the way you smile whenever you hear the Vivaldi song your dad always hums to you. I love that you make me hold you if I want you to take a long nap during the day. My arms get tired and I don't get anything done, but holding you while you sleep is like a dream to me. I love the way you kick and slam your legs into your changing table whenever I put you on it to get you dressed. I love watching you take in the world around you-- I love how bright your eyes get and I love that I can tell that you are thinking about everything, trying to figure it all out. I love you, Baby G. I love you with a love so strong and unconditional and absolutely nothing will ever, ever change that. As the years go by the things I love may change, but the feelings will always be the same.

You have so much potential rolled up into that little body of yours. Sometimes I am overwhelmed when I think about all of the things you will have the opportunity accomplish in your lifetime. I wonder about the kind of man that you will grow to be and I hope and pray every day that I can teach you all of the things that you need to know.

You will grow up in a rocky world where there will be many challenges and you will face times where you will have to make difficult choices. Our home will always be a refuge for you and you can always feel safe with your daddy and me.

Sometimes I cannot believe how much trust has been placed in me to care for you, not only by our Heavenly Father, but also by you. You look up at me and I can feel your trust-- you believe that I will feed you, come for you when you cry, and keep you safe. I always will. Remember to keep that pure trust in people. Believe in people, expect the best from people, and give people the benefit of the doubt. Don't ever become bitter or cynical about the world. Yes, you live in a world that can be scary and harsh, but there is so, so much good to be found. Look for the good and take time to be grateful everyday. You have many blessings.

You have the most incredible dad. I have never seen a more involved and devoted father. He would do anything for you or me and we are so blessed to have him. If there was one person that I could pick for you to grow up to be like it would be your daddy. Learn from his example. Learn to work hard and sacrifice the way he does. Learn to make people laugh the way he does. Learn to be affectionate the way he is. Learn to love the outdoors and appreciate God's creations the way he does. Learn to try new things like he does and don't let fear of making mistakes keep you from trying. Your daddy is the best person I've ever known and I would be so grateful if you turned out just like him.

One final thing that I would always want you to remember above everything else is that you have a Savior. There is someone who understands it all, who loves you even more than I ever could. You have a Father in Heaven and a Savior. There is so much power in that and it is so important that you come to understand that for yourself. Even though I want to always take care of you and always come for you and always be the one you need, there will come a day where I won't have the answers and I won't be able to give you everything you are looking for. Please, please turn to heaven for help and answers. Please say your prayers. Please read your scriptures. Please go to church and please stay close to the spirit. You can take your time and you can find your own way, and I will love you all the while, but please come to know your Savior and Father in Heaven and then don't ever forget them. They will always love you and you will always need them.

Thank you for the most fulfilling and happy 6 months of my life. You and your daddy are my whole world and I cannot wait to see what the next 6 months bring.

I love you,