Tuesday, January 08, 2008
my how time flies
Dear Baby Boy,
You came into my world 6 months ago today. You were so tiny and perfect and I remember filling up with a love so fierce that I thought I could never love you more. Since that first time I held you though, I have found myself overcome with how my love for you continues to get stronger and stronger with every new moment I have with you. You have filled my soul with such a tremendous abundance of happiness and today, on your 1/2 birthday, I wish to tell you some things that will always be true.
I love every little tiny thing about you. I love your big blue eyes and long eye lashes. I love the way you burrow your face into my shoulder and chest when you are tired or hungry. I love your tall, perfect body and your chubby cheeks. I love the way you smile at your daddy. I love your laugh. I love all of the precious sounds you make and the way that you sing and babble when you get tired to put yourself to sleep. I love the way you smile whenever you hear the Vivaldi song your dad always hums to you. I love that you make me hold you if I want you to take a long nap during the day. My arms get tired and I don't get anything done, but holding you while you sleep is like a dream to me. I love the way you kick and slam your legs into your changing table whenever I put you on it to get you dressed. I love watching you take in the world around you-- I love how bright your eyes get and I love that I can tell that you are thinking about everything, trying to figure it all out. I love you, Baby G. I love you with a love so strong and unconditional and absolutely nothing will ever, ever change that. As the years go by the things I love may change, but the feelings will always be the same.
You have so much potential rolled up into that little body of yours. Sometimes I am overwhelmed when I think about all of the things you will have the opportunity accomplish in your lifetime. I wonder about the kind of man that you will grow to be and I hope and pray every day that I can teach you all of the things that you need to know.
You will grow up in a rocky world where there will be many challenges and you will face times where you will have to make difficult choices. Our home will always be a refuge for you and you can always feel safe with your daddy and me.
Sometimes I cannot believe how much trust has been placed in me to care for you, not only by our Heavenly Father, but also by you. You look up at me and I can feel your trust-- you believe that I will feed you, come for you when you cry, and keep you safe. I always will. Remember to keep that pure trust in people. Believe in people, expect the best from people, and give people the benefit of the doubt. Don't ever become bitter or cynical about the world. Yes, you live in a world that can be scary and harsh, but there is so, so much good to be found. Look for the good and take time to be grateful everyday. You have many blessings.
You have the most incredible dad. I have never seen a more involved and devoted father. He would do anything for you or me and we are so blessed to have him. If there was one person that I could pick for you to grow up to be like it would be your daddy. Learn from his example. Learn to work hard and sacrifice the way he does. Learn to make people laugh the way he does. Learn to be affectionate the way he is. Learn to love the outdoors and appreciate God's creations the way he does. Learn to try new things like he does and don't let fear of making mistakes keep you from trying. Your daddy is the best person I've ever known and I would be so grateful if you turned out just like him.
One final thing that I would always want you to remember above everything else is that you have a Savior. There is someone who understands it all, who loves you even more than I ever could. You have a Father in Heaven and a Savior. There is so much power in that and it is so important that you come to understand that for yourself. Even though I want to always take care of you and always come for you and always be the one you need, there will come a day where I won't have the answers and I won't be able to give you everything you are looking for. Please, please turn to heaven for help and answers. Please say your prayers. Please read your scriptures. Please go to church and please stay close to the spirit. You can take your time and you can find your own way, and I will love you all the while, but please come to know your Savior and Father in Heaven and then don't ever forget them. They will always love you and you will always need them.
Thank you for the most fulfilling and happy 6 months of my life. You and your daddy are my whole world and I cannot wait to see what the next 6 months bring.
I love you,