Monday, November 16, 2009

go on ahead, give it a rub

My six-months-along belly. And the same finger prints on the mirror that were there last time. I did go ahead and clean the mirror after I took this today, though :).

I mentioned before that this pregnancy feels different to me than my last one. I wrote a while ago that this pregnancy I am doing away with any excess “stuff.” Last time was all about the novelty, excitement, and need-to-know-everything-so-I-read-everything frenzy of a first-time mama. I thought about the fact that I was pregnant constantly, and I wanted anyone and everyone’s opinion about pregnancy/childbirth/parenting. I craved information and wanted to be prepared.

This time I haven’t read a single “what to expect this week” update (last time I read them religiously), in fact I haven’t read anything about pregnancy at all. I don’t think about being pregnant constantly. I don’t crave information. I don’t want details. This time isn’t about information from the outside. I didn’t necessarily plan to be this new way of being pregnant, it has just kind of become me. (And perhaps this is fairly common with second pregnancies? I read similar thoughts on cjane’s blog last week, so maybe these feelings are somewhat typical?) Without all the outside stuff, I am feeling this pregnancy more from the inside. That’s one of the reasons I didn’t want to know the gender of this baby—no distractions of who this baby will be to keep me from savoring the purity of simply carrying a baby within my body. Last time I knew I was having a boy and my thoughts were constantly about what that little boy would be like when he came, rather than what he was like right then, while I was pregnant. This time I have been able to focus more on the fact that there is a tiny, beautiful body growing within my own, and I am loving the simplicity of just knowing that alone, and nothing else.

One thing that’s the same this time?

I still don’t mind people touching my swelling belly (love it, actually). Something about someone (even a complete stranger) being as happy for this most precious blessing of being pregnant as I am. I love it when people want to share it with me.

6 comments:

The Frogley's said...

You are so tiny!! I wish I was there to rub your little belly. :) We are so excited for you guys.

Katrina said...

i love this stage of pregnancy when you aren't huge yet but have the cute belly. you look great. what I hate is the stage when I just look fat.

Teacher Mama said...

You are so nice to let people rub your belly.

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Bryan and Christy Clark said...

ya, you are adorably pregnant! i love your belly. and i totally didn't mind people touching my belly either. it helped me remember how special it was that i was growing a human!

Mama Janet said...

What a wonderful thought about being focused on just being pregnant. I'm so glad that you're so expressive. It puts so many memories back into my mind and I love being part of it.