the students

It is not very often that you can say that every member of your family is in school, but that is the case for us right now. John is in his masters program (freshwater biology) at BYU, and G, Pea and I all started another year at the Elizabeth Academy a couple of weeks ago.

I wasn't planning on teaching again this year, but when it came down to it, things fell into place too perfectly for me to not feel like that was the right direction for our family. I feel so incredibly lucky that things have worked out this way because I really never planned to work after I had children, and if the stars hadn't aligned so perfectly I never would have.

When I left work last year right before I had Pearl, I knew that I wasn't going to be coming back to teach. I didn't want the stress and pressure of getting babies out of bed early and dragging them into school with me (because by some miracle I am allowed to bring my children with me). So I had pretty much thought that I was done. But then this summer the founder of the school (Gail Williamsen) offered me a position as a teacher mentor, helping the teachers in the classrooms plan for and know how to work with the students that have disabilities. That position basically gives me the flexibility to come and go when I (and my kids) need to. I try to be there Tuesday through Thursday for about 3 hours in the morning, but if I can't be for some reason, I don't have the pressure of a classroom full of kids that need me. It is the best of both worlds because I am still working with these precious little students that I adore, helping them learn to succeed, but I definitely feel like my number one priority and obligation gets to be to my own babies. It is such a blessing.

Like I said, George and Pearl get to come with me. Pearl sleeps most of the time that I am there (she has her own little room with her Pack 'n Play set up), and I wear her in a sling when she is awake. The kids LOVE her. George gets to go to his very own class this year (last year I kept him in with me), and he is loving it so much. I was really worried about this at first because I hadn't planned to put him in pre-school this year at all. I still felt like 3 was a little too young for that. But holy cow, he was ready for it way more than I was because he is sad when it isn't a school day (he is just there the same three mornings a week that I am).

Now that things have all worked out this way I have realized the enormous blessings that have come from this. What a blessing to have G in such a beautiful school, learning with the montessori methods and materials that I have come to value and love so much. The tuition for his class is $200.00 a month-- a price we could NEVER afford right now, and what a blessing it is that we don't have to pay for a dime of it since I am teaching there. What a blessing for me to keep up on my teaching skills and still have the opportunity to spend some time working with these little ones that truly brighten my life. What a blessing that I am able to contribute to our family financially and take a little bit of that burden off of my incredibly overloaded husband. And most importantly, what a blessing that I am still able to mother my children, to feel like they are getting all of me that they need, and to realize that this change of scenery is good for them. There are other parts of our lives that are challenging (and even this isn't perfect-- I still sometimes would rather stay in bed and cuddle than get up and get ready), but in this area we are feeling full of blessings and are so grateful.

Here is G, in all of his first-day-of-school glory. He was so excited and happy.

A little kiss before we left. Nevermind the fact that I look like I am in pain.

And then there is John. I do not know how on earth he managed to make his hobbies and passions his school and career path, but his classes this semester (things like aquatic entomology and limnology) cannot possibly feel like school to him since the homework involves things like this:

hi gross little guy!

Remember how he has been collecting and preserving aquatic insects for the past couple of years just for fun? Yes, well now he is required to. It is almost comical when he calls me up and tells me that he HAS to go on an overnight field trip to a river or lake somewhere with one of his classes. Last night I helped him sort and label some of the samples from his most recent gathering expedition. I decided that I was most helpful in the labeling arena-- picking up dead, squishy bugs with forceps really doesn't thrill me that much.

His job on the left, my job on the right, thank you very much.

I am glad I was paying enough attention last night to realize that John has been using our plastic food containers to sort bugs in. I asked in horror if he has always been doing that, and he never really answered, which means that of course he has. I kindly suggested that he could just go ahead and keep those little tupperware containers as his very own bug sorting ones. I am positive that before this conversation those had just been getting put in the dishwasher and then put away in the cupboard ready to store leftovers in. Ew.

As much as I dislike looking at the jumble of icky bugs floating in my tupperware, I have to admit that they look kind of cool once they are sorted into their vials.

Here was last night's finished products, all lined up and ready to be organized into the boxes of bugs that live above my computer. John said that I was talking in my sleep about something being "so gross and disgusting." Can you really blame me when this is what I did right before bed?

lessons in montessori, part one

Apparently Michael Phelps was more exciting than blogging last night. Baby G has been napping for about 47 minutes (but who's counting?), so we will see how many of my thoughts I can crank out before he wakes up.

I need to preface this post with a disclaimer: it will most likely be long, with lots of text and zero pictures. If you hate that kind of blogging you can stop reading now. Also, it will be about education and will include my unfiltered thoughts about the education system in our society. I think my special ed girls will find it interesting, people with children may want to read it, but everyone else might be bored. Just so you know.

So I have adored and loved this past year of being a stay-at-home mama. Nothing has been more rewarding or brought me more fulfillment. I would be happy forever to just get to stay home with my children. I understand that not everyone feels that way. Some women need the outlet of work on the side. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I just don't happen to be one of those women. So when Gail called me up and offered me a teaching job I was REALLY not planning on taking it. Even thought we really could've used the money, we were making things work, and both J and I were committed to me being home with Baby G.

Then Gail started telling me the details. She is starting a school called the Elizabeth Academey. It will be a private school for kids with disabilites who will be intermingled in class with typical students. This first year it will just be for 4 and 5 year olds (my favorite ages to teach). It will be VERY part-time: 4 days a week, 3 hours a day. It will be a mixture of different teaching philosophies, including Montessori (which I wasn't familiar with, but will get to in a minute-- that's actually the whole point of this post). There will be one regular education teacher, two special education teachers (that's me!), one speech therapist, and one paraprofessional all dedicated solely to one class of 16 children (where no more than 4 will have disabilities). Oh, and the pay is triple what I made teaching diagnostic kindergarten for a district. Sounds pretty dreamy, right?

Well, I still wasn't sold. I would have to leave my baby. It almost made me sick thinking about it. But I knew that it could be an incredible opportunity that I might not want to pass up. And I knew how much we could use the money, and I knew how much it would take the pressure off of my incredibly hard-working husband (working two jobs-- one that starts at 3:30 AM-- and going to school is A LOT). My mom immediately offered to watch Baby G. She said it would be silly of me to not at least consider the opportunity, adding that she would have "so much fun" taking care of my baby for a couple of hours a day. J looked at his school schedule and realized that he would be able to be with Baby G until 10:00 AM every day, so that my mom would just have him until I got done at 11:45 AM. Things were falling into place.

So I prayed and prayed. I wanted to take the job because I knew that it really might be the best thing for our family. But I also didn't want to take it and then end up resentful and hating going to work every day. So I prayed, determined to do whatever the Lord instructed me. I felt frustrated though, because I wasn't really getting any instructions. I finally asked for a priesthood blessing so I could get a little clarity. In the blessing, the answer came to me: there wasn't a bad choice. I could do either (stay home with Baby G, or leave to work for a couple of hours), and both choices would be acceptable to the Lord. So I made my decision: I was going to sacrifice what I wanted (staying home, free to do whatever I please whenever I please-- seriously, it really is the life), for what I felt was perhaps a little bit better for my family in the long run (taking some of the pressure off of J, adding some income), and what might end up being an incredible personal learning & growing opportunity for me.

But I still felt uneasy. I was required to attend a week-long training to become certified in the Montessori teaching philosophy. Up until the moment I got to the training I questioned my decision and wondered if I was doing the right thing. I hated the uncertainty I was feeling. Leaving my baby with my mom for that first morning of training was hard. When I introduced myself to everyone at the training I started to cry and had to embarrassingly explain that that was the first time in his life that I hadn't been with my boy all day. The other people in the room seemed to understand. As the other women introduced themselves a feeling of peace and calm came over me. I had the feeling that I was in the right place.

That week-long training was hard (8:00 AM-5:00 PM, more homework and reading each day than I had daily in college, not enough time to get it all done because now I have a one-year-old who doesn't like to be ignored, and the stresses of not being with Baby G all day), but I can honestly say that it changed my life. I know that I was supposed to be there. It has changed the way that I will teach, and has also changed some of the ways that I will mother. It felt good to be back in the educational groove again, and it recommitted me to being a lifelong learner. My education did not stop just because I got my degree. I needed that reminder. So, let me tell you about some of the things I learned and some of the ways my thought patterns shifted.

But let me do it in another post. This is getting mighty long already. Perhaps later today, but most likely tomorrow. Unless this is boring (which it very may well be, and that won't hurt my feelings, honest)-- let me know if you would like me to share more because if no one cares I won't waste my time typing it all out (I already have many of my thoughts recorded for myself in a journal).