there is a valley called peace of mind

And I found myself right in the thick of it as I walked along next to my husband, with the babies in tow, up in the mountains last week. There is nothing that feels as beautiful as knowing that you have settled into your little place as wife and mama, that the people you get to be with everyday really are your whole world, and that this life-- the one where your husband spontaneously takes a Monday off and loads the family into the car for a day of togetherness and adventure-- this is the life you have always dreamed of and you sometimes have to stop and catch your breath when you have those moments of realizing that you are living it. This valley of peace of mind? I've been there in bits of my life before, but never as fully as I am now as I try to fulfill, what I believe is, the measure of my creation-- being a wife and mother. I love it here. And yes there are dips and bumps and there will be times where I will have mountains to climb and be forced out of this valley, but I know the beauty of this place now, and I pray that wherever I am in my life I can find this place again.

And you know what they say about this valley of peace of mind?

There is a river running right by its side :).

And there is a baby wearing sunglasses and a mama trailblazing through the dense brush (with the baby attached to her, of course) to catch up to her boys ahead.

There are steep spill-ways and muddy hills (also very steep) that you will all fall down (if you look closely at my bum-- but don't-- you will see evidence of my slide down the muddy hill).

There are places that are pretty treacherous and definitely not really toddler-friendly, and you will question your (and your husband's) sanity for deciding to bring babies along on this adventure.

But there are also wide, flat places that are full of rocks to be thrown into rivers that you have to meander very s l o w l y down because your boy will stop to collect and then throw as many rocks as he can down the cliff into the water. And, even though it is a little bit hard, there is no way you would have wanted to leave the babies behind. This is the season of your life where toting kids around wherever you go is part of the deal. A most blessed and sacred part of the deal.

And for as many of the 'I'm an inadequate mother' places, there are also the places where you are a rockstar and do a little fly-fishing with one child playing in the water at your feet and one (sleeping) child strapped to your body.

There are the places where you hang out with the babes on the riverbanks and watch the daddy do his thing.

And that thing he does? He does it amazingly well. And he is really handsome.

You hike back to the car with these people you love and you feel it, that peace of mind valley.

And the best part? Even when you run out of gas in the canyon and your husband has to hitch a ride into the nearest town to buy a gas can and gas, and you are left stranded on the side of the road on a hot day-- even when things definitely could be going better-- you are still in that valley. You are in the valley because you choose (and at first it is kind of a hard choice to make) to not be mad at your husband for driving WAY too far up the canyon with a low tank of gas and instead you make funny faces in the car with your boy while you wait. And wait.

Happy, full, peaceful days. Dreams? Coming true. Every single little day.

a lil' blessing for our lil' one

Last Sunday was our baby girl's Blessing Day. It was a beautiful, sunny day. There are few things more precious in this life than being given a glimpse of all the divine potential bottled up in these tiny people that we are raising, and Sunday was a day that I could feel the bigness of my baby girl's spirit. When I let myself take her in like that I am so overwhelmed with the responsibility I have to help her become that person. I pray every day that I can be who she needs me to be so that the goodness that she is so full of right now will remain in her forever.

The day started out with her little white dress, a symbol of her beautiful innocence.

I had to wake her to get her ready in time for church, and when I finally had time to stop and just soak her in I was overcome by her pure, precious soul.

I am in love with this baby. (And why didn't her daddy tell me to take the burp cloth off of my shoulder for this picture?)

After Sacrament Meeting was over, we went to the park across from our house for a little brunch with family and friends. Sadly I did not get photos of everyone, but here are the few I did take.

My best friend Rachael, and her mom and sister with Pearlie.

John's mom, aunt, sister, and cousins.

Pearl with her great-grandparents on my side. (Take note of the beautiful white blanket-- my Aunt Kim crocheted it for Pearlie and it is the softest blanket I've ever felt.)

Pear Baby with her daddy and Aunt Lisa.

A four-generation picture of my grandma, my mom, me, and my girl.

And a few shots of us.

Mama and babe.

Our perfectly even family-- daddy and his girl, mama and her boy.

Georgie was there, too, but was way too busy having fun to stop for many pictures. These are the only decent ones I got.

The guest of honor, though? She was perfectly still and content to let me take as many photos of her as I wanted. And I wanted a lot.

Little smiler.

Um, are you obsessed with her? We are. Totally obsessed.

I loved her little blessing dress. All the pretty, old fashioned details were perfectly my style, and I especially loved that it wasn't super long and you could still see those chubby little legs and feet.

And don't even get me started on the little bonnet. Yummy.

We took off the dress and let Baby Girl just hang out in the sweet little matching slip for a bit.

And after everyone had left and she had changed into something a little more comfortable, she passed out on the couch. This is quite possibly my favorite picture of her ever. I love those limp little arms and deliciously chubby legs. And her sweet face, oh that cherubic little face. Melts me.

The good news is, after this post, even if you weren't able to make it to the blessing you pretty much can say that you did :).

frog hunting

Yesterday for Family Night we went over to John's sister's house to do plant a few things in her garden and have a campfire in the backyard. The surprise bonus for the little boys was a big bucket with three frogs inside. Once they warmed up to the idea of holding them they had so much fun. I am in love with these pictures because they are all things boy-- filthy faces, dirt-stained hands, reptiles, and sly little grins. As much as I adore my baby girl (did you get that memo?), I would be content to have only boys from here on out. There is something about curious, mischievous, dirty, playful, naughty little boys that I simply cannot get enough of. My heart beats hard and fast for my boy, in a way that only he can elicit.

a whole lot of random

No real rhyme or reason to this post-- just a few bits of our lives that I wanted to document.

We had been home from our little road trip for one day when my mom called and mentioned that she might want to go to Idaho to watch my cousin play in a soccer tournament. We all know that I am not one to turn down a party (or a last-minute get-away), so I told her I'd tag along with the two kiddos. We literally had our bags packed and were on the road within an hour-- it was most impressive. I definitely felt some guilt about strapping my baby back into that boring car seat for another l o n g drive, especially since we were in a huge hurry to make it to Emma's game so we didn't want to stop much, but she totally rose to the occasion. Baby girl sat in that seat and slept or just hung out for 4 straight hours while we drove. Maybe I draped my body over her car seat so that she could nurse en route. Maybe. Anyway, we always love being with our dear family in Idaho, and this short little trip was no different. I only got out my camera once the whole time we were there. We were out on the back patio, Emma was rocking the Pea (cozied up in the quilt that my incredibly sweet and talented sister-in-law Maggie made for her), and my mom was reading to Rach who was passed out due to some Benadryl.

How about some entertaining hair news next? My mom found this awesome headband that has built in pigtails. I don't know if this is meant as a joke or if people really think that this is a normal way to accessorize a baby, but we were laughing our heads off. Tight pigtails on babies isn't really my cup o' tea anyway, so this was especially entertaining. Got a pretty funny reaction out of Pearlie's daddy when I just passed her off to him as if nothing was different.

Behold:

Oh, I'm still laughing about that.

In real hair news, I managed to capture this picture of our baby's incredible wave that really shows off its awesomeness. All it takes is a little water and we get this:

Have I told you lately how much I love this pretty little girl of mine? Holy cow. A lot.

What about how happy it makes me to live with a little pirate? Also a lot.

One of the things that I love LOVE so much about our little Pea right now is how she smiles with her whole body. Her face just can't quite contain all the joy and it spreads down into her little chubby limbs in uncontrollable squirms. Oh how it melts me. I tell you what, there is not a single thing about this baby that I don't love.

Blowing bubbles is one of her latest tricks. She isn't really drooly yet, but she can soak the front of her shirts trying to blow bubbles.

We have been so loving our garden so far this year. We drink green smoothies every day and there is so much happiness for me in going out to the garden to pick the spinach, kale, and chard to put in the blender. Here is a little peak at one of our boxes:

Last Sunday we made a stop at the cemetery where J's dad is buried for a Memorial Day visit. The cemetery was beautifully peppered with bright flowers and flags, and I hope our children grow up with memories of feeling the peaceful spirit of their grandpa there since they don't get to have him around in life.

I know that J's feelings are tender when he is at his dad's grave anyway, but I think they are especially tender when he is there with his babies. Being a daddy himself and thinking about how impossibly painful it would be to be separated from his children, and thinking about how hurt our little boy would be to lose his daddy, makes J's childhood feelings surface a little more I think. It was hard for me to swallow the lump in my throat when I saw my baby boy in his daddy's arms at the cemetery, his daddy squeezing him tight as slow tears ran down his cheeks behind his sunglasses. Makes me teary even now.

After the cemetery I snapped a few pictures of the kiddos because they were still dressed up. Oh my how I adore these little people, and how incredibly grateful I am that I get to be with them every day.

I kind of can't get enough of that short little dress, red shoes and those thighs. Oh, THOSE THIGHS!

Here's a little close up of her leggies. Do you want to eat those thighs? Because I occasionally try to, they are THAT delicious.

And finally, some sunshine happiness-- we are SO glad that summer appears to be here to stay.

Here are some photos of us taking full advantage of the warmth.

Bless REI's sale for allowing me to get the double jogger that I have been coveting. I am such a happy mama every morning when I get to strap these two babes in and hit the road with some of my dear neighbors for a run on the parkway.

Is it just me or do hot days mean sidewalk chalk to anyone else?

The boys went outside last night to do a little gardening while I fed the baby. I heard G run in to get something, and when I looked out the front door I found him in his swimsuit doing this:

So excited for many more warm nights with hoses and buckets and swimsuits. It's gonna be a good summer.