Tuesday, August 12, 2008

he's not two yet

get any closer and he'll whack you in the face

Aside from the fact that my once very well-behaved and sweet baby boy decided that when he turned one it would be a good time to start in on the terrible-twos (seriously, why the demanding screams and sporadic hitting, little one?), we have had such a lovely (but oh so very busy) last couple of weeks. I have been meaning to post about the things I've learned, and I think I will have time to sit down and get to it all tonight after a certain one-year-old goes to bed. That is, unless watching the Olympics takes over all my brain power. We'll keep our fingers crossed.

In the meantime, what is your best advice to teach a 13 month old not to hit? I don't want to incessantly say "no!" to him, so we mostly just immediately practice being "soft" over and over again if he hits, while I firmly tell him that we do not hit and we need to be soft. He doesn't seem to be hitting to be mean, just mostly to get someone's face out of his face if he doesn't want it there. Okay, maybe that is to be mean :). Hopefully it is just a (short) phase that will pass once his communication skills increase.
Or maybe I am just raising a mean child.

8 comments:

Lucy, Marc and Katie said...

I probably had all the answers before I became a Mom. ;) I'm sure you will do what is best for him, you are amazing!

Kevin, Danica, & Claire said...

he is not a mean kiddo! i think it comes with the age. claire will do that sometimes too, and we remind her to be soft. (she'll often hit herself just to get a rise out of us. it drives me crazy when she does that, but it's just attention-seeking, so it's best to ignore that one.)
looks like you are ready for the best book on parenting of all time!!! "Love and Logic". i may have already recommended it to you, but it's so worth reading as you brace yourself for a toddler!

Teacher Mama said...

I reserve "no" for times when Logan is in danger of hurting himself or hurting someone else. I included hitting. I say it sternly. I made sure Topher says it sternly too.

During Logan's hitting phase, after a stern no, I would just put him down or move away from him. This inevitably made him very sad for a short period of time. I tried to keep the consequence to one minute, and then pick him up and practice being soft. He rarely hits now. The phase lasted about three months. If you want to skip "no" maybe you could just put him down, or pick a different word to use.

If you would like me to talk to my brother about laughing whenever Baby G does something naughty, I will. Naughty naughty Johnny.

Channa said...

I guess I'm not much help since I'm not a mom yet - you'll know the right way to help him. So you are a crazy olympic fanatic too?!

Jessica said...

Um ya, Addie already hits! It's awesome. She seriously will slap you across the face and laugh. I think she thinks it is a game, but seeing how she is only 9 1/2 months, I think she is to young to understand "no". I used to tell margo "we don't hit" instead of "no" But you will just have to find what works for you.

GregR said...

Don't let John laugh when G decides to hit!

em&m said...

I read everyone else's comments to see if I could find any advise for my own little hitters. I'm glad for the things that have worked for others, but so far nothing has worked for us. (Maybe it has, maybe they hit less than they would, I don't know). Maybe I'm wrong, but I just believe that children hit. Some hit more than others and I think most discipline only works coincidentally. I'm sure your little darling is not mean. I think he's too young to understand "nice" and "naughty." The word "No!" doesn't work in our family either. Liam laughs every time I say it. Maybe he thinks my stern face is funny, I don't know.

the mama monster said...

i also think it depends on personality! ezra hit for maybe a few weeks... eli has been hitting for a long time and shows no signs of stopping. we just say no and tell him to be soft. i also try to set him down and walk away from him. good luck!