deliverance

(sister-in-law Aaron with her little baby Levi)

Over the past couple of weeks there have been tragedies happening around me. I feel like our family (meaning our extended families on both sides as well as our own little family) is being asked to do a lot of hard things right now. The hardest thing for me personally has been feeling deep grief on behalf of people that I love.

Yesterday we spent the day at the funeral of my husband’s step sister-in-law. She was killed in a car accident and left a husband and 3 little boys behind. Although I wasn’t particularly close to this sister-in-law, I couldn’t help but feel overcome with grief and sadness for the 3 little boys that lost their mommy. The oldest boy, Benjamin, is almost 5, and about a year younger than my husband was when his dad died. I couldn’t contain my tears as I watched my tall, manly husband go over to little Ben, sit down on the grass beside the casket, scoop Ben into his lap, hold him close, and through tears, tell him that if he is a good little boy he will get to be with his mommy again in heaven. This tender display reminded me of the infinite blessings of the gospel: that we have a knowledge of the resurrection, that we covenant to bear one another’s burdens, that we know we can call upon heavenly powers during moments of despair and sorrow.

There is other sadness and heartache going on in hidden places all around me. One of my very favorite quotes is by Elder Maxwell. He said:

“…for the faithful, our finest hours are sometimes during or just following our darkest hours.”

I discovered the truthfulness of that statement when I was in Romania and experiencing darkness that I had never known before. I was amazed at my ability to see light in the midst of the tragedies that were unfolding in front of me every day. I was amazed to find that even though I was feeling sadness to a degree I hadn’t felt before, I was also feeling the spirit more abundantly, and my testimony of the Gospel was being strengthened constantly.

I love knowing that if we are doing the best that we can, even though we will have dark hours, darker even than we may think we can bear, through that darkness we can be refined in a way that would not otherwise be possible. I know that, and it makes my heart swell to think of the promises that are made to us if we can just rely on God through our darkest hours.

My baby usually is napping around 11:00 AM, which means that I am usually blogging around that time. I sometimes turn on the TV in the background, and there is always a BYU Devotional being broadcast on channel 11. I wish I could say that I always watch the devotional, but much too often I turn the channel to something far less praiseworthy and uplifting. However, a few months ago was one of the days that I decided to watch the devotional. Elder Eyring was the speaker and I remember how much his words touched me that day. I called my husband to tell him about the talk because I loved it so much. And then I forgot about it.

In the wake of some of the tragedies that have happened in the past few weeks I found myself praying for some guidance as to how I could be of comfort to those around me. My answers have come in a variety of ways, but one of them was the recollection of that devotional talk by Elder Eyring. I didn’t really remember what it was about, but I decided to see if I could find it online. When I found it I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the small ways that the Lord answers our prayers. The talk is titled “The Power of Deliverance” and as I read it I knew that part of my answer was to print out copies of the talk and give them to specific people. If you would like to read the talk, click here.

I hope I haven’t come across as gloomy or preachy. My intent was just to share some of my feelings and some of the ways that I have personally found comfort and solace during trying times. Now it’s your turn to tell me—what things help you get through dark times in your life?

Please share—I need all the help I can get!