i was summer (only less attractive)

I went and saw a movie tonight. My mom and I are frequent patrons of the late night movie, and it is one of my favorite things to do. Put kids to bed and meet and the theater. I almost always leave satisfied with our choice of movie. Last week it was "Julie and Julia." Loved. Tonight we saw "(500) Days of Summer." Pretty much everyone I've talked to has raved about it and promised a delightful story with good acting and compelling music. 

Why did I leave the theater tonight feeling sad? (If you haven't seen the movie and plan to, stop reading because I'm about to talk about the ending.)

I can't shake the melancholy off, and I am worried that I know why. It's because I was Summer, isn't it? I was the girl who had someone's heart and I broke it. I wasn't dishonest (quite the opposite-- we both knew what we were signing up for), but neither was Summer. Tom knew that she didn't want anything serious all along. I wasn't mean or intentionally hurtful. Neither was Summer. But oh! The pain that she caused! Tonight the pain that I must've caused is feeling more acute, perhaps it has been ripened with time and a more mature heart. Of course in the end we all have ended up with who we were meant to be with. She is so much better with him than I would have been, and I have no doubt that my husband is my perfect match. Why do I feel so bad then? I hate knowing that I hurt someone, even though I know he is grateful and happy (now) that I did. Is that weird? Is this familiar to anyone else, or am I a little crazy? Maybe I have some apologies left to say? Not sure.

willow lake: the second take

Remember when we went to Willow Lake last year? Even though the camping didn't exactly go as planned, that trip is one of my most treasured memories from last summer. So we have decided to make a tradition out of a weekend at Willow Lake every summer, and this past weekend was the date set for us to go. We invited my brothers this time, so on Friday the five of us packed up the truck and headed south. We didn't arrive until late, so most of the festivities took place the next day. Baby G started out sleeping in his pack & play, but he refuses to sleep with blankets on and the double layer of pajamas just wasn't cutting it, so he ended up in the sleeping bags with us. 

He slept good, we didn't. Little cutie.

My husband is a fly-fisherman to the core. Despite getting very little sleep, he rolled out of the tent at the crack of dawn to get to the fish feeding early in the morning. By the time Baby G and I got up, the boys had been out on the lake fishing for a couple of hours. Baby G was not pleased that he was missing out on the fishing, so we ran down to the lake as quickly as possible (only after he found the perfect walking stick, though). No, there wasn't even time to change out of pajamas.

This picture of him resting on his walking stick cracks me up. Such a little man.

As soon as Baby G spotted his daddy and his daddy spotted him, they started running toward each other. The following six pictures show the sequence of events that followed:

After Baby G had "fished" for awhile, we moved to the other side of the lake and actually fished from the dam (because it was a safe, flat place for all of us to hang out). J got a fish on and Baby G helped reel it in.

He was pretty happy about landing a pretty tiger trout.

So happy that he wanted to kiss it before we let it go.

My brothers took Baby G back to our campsite for breakfast and J and I stayed behind to fish for a few minutes. We both literally casted no more than 10 times and both caught fish. It was funny because there were people nearby that had been fishing with spinners for a couple of hours that were not catching a darn thing. J caught this rainbow:

And I hooked this tiger. J instructed me to bring it to the surface when I was reeling it in so that the other fisherman (the ones not catching anything) would be jealous and impressed. This is when I gave him a short talking to about humility. 

When we weren't fishing we were:

cooking (J made his delectable version of bacon, egg, & cheese Mcmuffins), 

 golfing (please note the "hole" fully equipped with the "flag" for them to golf into),

and lounging.

And this picture right here, this is why my husband is such an incredible fly-fisherman. It is also why his career path of biologist fits him so perfectly:

Wait, your husbands don't fashion aquatic insect catching devices out of two wooden dowels and a window screen? They don't insist on stopping at two random rivers on the way home to run down to the water, stir up some bugs, and collect them in little glass tubes? Oh. Mine does. And then he comes home, organizes and labels them, and uses them as patterns when tying his own flies for fishing so that his flies are as authentic to the actual insects the fish are eating as possible. And that, my friends, is why we catch fish wherever we go. You should come fishing with us sometime. I promise that even if you think fishing is boring and dumb you would enjoy fly-fishing with my husband. Really. And I am serious about the offer. He will take anyone that wants to go. And it will probably be the highlight of his week :).

are we still friends?

We had a fabulous night away. We went to Park City and stayed in a lovely hotel. We ate at a restaurant that we would normally never afford, and then went to the grocery store (it was after 9 PM and we could go together!) for some snacks. We slept soundly and attempted to sleep in (8:00 counts, right?). We walked Main Street meandering in and out of the art galleries holding hands. We ate lunch at a pizza place that holds many memories for us from our dating days and talked without distractions or interruptions. I listened to my husband tell me memories of his mission and we talked about what the next year holds for us as a family. We did some light shopping (and didn't have to push a stroller) and I came home with a new birthday outfit. I brought my camera along with the intent to document the fun, but somehow it felt funny to haul the camera out to take a picture with me in front of my slice of tomato, pineapple, and onion pizza. We didn't even end up bringing the camera out with us, maybe because it filled our senses enough to just be together, or maybe because there weren't really a whole lot of opportunities. At any rate, below I give you the only two photos that were taken in that 22 hour time span. They give you a much better idea of what we are really like than a picture of us walking Main Street would have.

There was this long shawl-like thing on the end of the bed in the hotel. My husband was playing around with it and came over and wrapped it around me like I was an old woman with a shawl around her head. He then shoved a towel inside on my back and ordered me to hunch over. The look was complete when I obeyed his commands to stick a scrawny finger out. And this is how we entertained ourselves for quite sometime.

And then there is this one. If you don't think this is hysterical you probably wouldn't really like us (well at least not my husband) in real life. The thing is, J has a really, really entertaining sense of humor and he loves to make people laugh. He comes up with silly little remarks constantly and frequently surprises complete strangers (bank tellers, fast food window workers etc.) with funny things that come out of his mouth. I am always grateful when the stranger gets it and laughs because it is a little awkward to explain otherwise. Anyway. We bought some peaches at the store and ate them in the morning for breakfast. I didn't eat all of mine and stuck it on hand towel on the nightstand. Normal enough, right? Well then my husband saw it. I will admit that it looked totally disgusting if you didn't know what it was, but I would have never come up with the plan that he concocted. This is what he planned to leave for the housekeepers:
It is imperative that you click on the picture and read the note. So I thought it was hysterical, but I felt bad leaving it for other people to clean up. I ruined all the fun by throwing the "colon" away before we left, but I was worried that we might freak someone out. Probably we have freaked some of you out just by reading this, but if you know my husband you will think this is classic. He is just funny. 

Now, were those the pictures of our romantic get away that you were expecting?

weaned

I am still putting off sorting through all the vacation photos. As much as I love the idea of digital cameras, they actually make your life so much more difficult. I can't handle looking at 100 pictures of the same thing to choose the ONE that is the best to put in my post. Anyway, one of these days I'll get around to it, but for now you get mostly words. 

At the end of last month I (finally) nursed my son for the final time. He was two weeks past two years and we were both (finally) ready. It was a painless process for both of us. I can imagine it would have been more difficult (both emotionally and physically) for us if weaning would have come earlier, but by the time we actually did it we had been gradually weaning for months and months so it came easy. For me, it was a picture perfect way to end that chapter with my firstborn. The only real side effect of not nursing before bed/nap time has been that he is not quite as sleepy when I lay him in his bed, which results in pictures like the one above. He plays around in his bed and requests things to sleep with. Before I had a child I'm sure I would've sworn that if my child made silly demands before bedtime ("I want to sleep with my cowboy hat!" or "I need to sleep with my ReAl Salt Lake jersey on!") I would have promptly ignored them and he would've learned to go to sleep without so much as a peep. I can tell you now that I am not that mother. I'm certainly not a pushover, but I also think I've realized that if letting your child sleep with his cowboy hat will make it so that he goes right to sleep rather than screaming for 20 minutes, it is totally worth it. We both win-- I get him to bed, and he gets his hat. 

Also sort of about weaning-- is it a sign that I nursed my child for too long if he is weaned and potty trained in the same month? :) I haven't wanted to push potty training, but he is making it hard to ignore. He tells me before he needs to go and if I put him on the toilet he goes. I know that if I just spent a couple of days at home with him in underwear he could be potty trained, I just haven't been able to talk myself into it yet. Not because of the actual potty training itself, just because I can see all the stress of having to run my barely two year old to a bathroom in a public place every time we go somewhere. Maybe next week I'll be up for it...

And lastly, also sort of about weaning-- my husband and I are leaving Baby G overnight for the first time in his life tonight. Now that nursing isn't a part of his bedtime routine, and now that he is two, we are feeling like he would love a sleepover with his grandparents (and doting aunts and uncles), and we are feeling ready for a little getaway. We will be away probably less than 24 hours, but it kind of seems like a big deal to me. I am pretty excited about it, and totally not nervous about leaving my little boy. I know he will be in good hands and I know he will probably not even miss us. I'll let you know how it goes when we come back. Probably before I ever get around to blogging about last month's big vacation...

The Farm

I know. I know! I am a liar and a cheat (name that movie), and a total blog slacker. But I do have a good excuse for the first 10 days of lying. I wasn't planning on going, but a day after I wrote the "Montana Teaser" promising more, I hopped in the motor home with my family for a little 9 day jaunt up the California and Oregon coast. So there's that. But since I've been home from that trip I have struggled to find the motivation to go through the hundreds of Montana pictures, upload and then write about them. Maybe it's knowing that after all these I still have hundreds of newer pictures to sort through and blog about the more recent trip. At any rate, here I am, and here are the (very, VERY narrowed down) highlights of a trip to The Farm.

My parents have a motor home (you know that by now). It is seemingly plenty large (at 36 feet), but please try to imagine thirteen bodies crammed in that amount of space for two solid days. We were a little concerned that we may all go crazy, but really, it didn't seem that bad. We all kinda found our own little space (Grandma and Grandpa in the front seats, Baby G in the other upright seat so he could be strapped in, my mom, Kim, Madeline, Rach, and Ems in the front portion, and the big kids, Ben, Hannah, Josh, and Jake in the back room), and it worked out nicely. Looking at these pictures does make me a little claustrophobic, though.

Mom, Kim, Mady, and I taking a nap.

At least 6 (there may be more hidden in there somewhere) of the kids playing on the back bed.

Pulling into The Farm feels a little bit like going back to your childhood home, equal parts nostalgia and warmth. As I walked through Aunt Sandi and Uncle Tom's house for the first time this trip I just kept thinking about how there is something so comfortable and happy about places that never change and people that manage to seem kinder and sweeter than they were  before, though that can't really be possible. They have all always been so good to us. There are a few things about The Farm that really make it "The Farm" for us. I'll highlight some of those things.

Dogs

There are always 3-5 dogs running around. Sometimes they are the same as the last year we were there, but usually there is at least one new one. 

The Farm Dogs-- Jake, Tuffy, Harley, and Sophie

Uncle Rick with the dogs.

Jake the boy laying down with Harley. Jake the dog watching.

Checking the fence

The last couple of years Uncle Rick has taken us on quite the journey to check the condition of the fences on the parts of their land that they cannot get cars or 4-wheelers to. That means the terrain is incredibly rough and steep. We haul equipment with us to fix broken fence posts along the way, and it's always an adventure. Last time Uncle Rick bludgeoned a rattlesnake with a hammer while we all watched in a little bit of horror, and this time Kim brilliantly gave Emma some Benadryl right before we left so that she would be extra sleepy and not want to walk AT ALL. It was pretty exciting.

Kim proudly showing off her farm jeans and shirt.

Most of the crew setting off on the trail.

See the steepness? My 70-something year old grandpa did this with us (he's probably in better shape than some of us). On this particular slope he said, "This is almost as bad as the 17th hole at ValleyView." He's a golfer.

Apparently we have a thing for tie-dye in my family. When I realized how many of us had tie-dyed shirts on that day I decided it needed to be documented.

Josh, Mady, Jake, me, Ben

The real farmer doing the hard work.

The whole group of us at the end. We were tired and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.

Birthdays

We always go to The Farm in the summer. Three of my mom's children celebrate birthdays between July 18th and August 16th. That means that we have all had a birthday at The Farm at some point. I know I have celebrated at least two birthdays there, and I always love being there for my birthday. We always go into town and order an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. So this year when I realized we would be celebrating my son's 2nd birthday on The Farm I was happy that he was going to get that experience (and a little sad that his daddy wouldn't be with us). 

2 year old Baby G dancing over his Dairy Queen Ice Cream Cake special.

All the people that were there to celebrate with him. He felt so special and kept asking everyone to sing to him again.

Pictures

When I was young I remember my mom wanting to get pictures of us in the wheat fields. I wanted to get a few pictures of my baby that could only be taken on The Farm. I took a bunch but will only post two. You are welcome.

Playing in front of some hay bales.

On one of the hundreds of red dirt paths surrounded by green fields that don't stop. 

Riding Horses

Many years back we would spend hours and hours a day on the horses for the Trail Ride. We haven't been there for the Trail Ride for quite sometime, but Uncle Rick still saddles the horses up for us to go for rides.

This picture is so classicly "Farm" to me. The old trucks in the foreground, the skies that go on for miles, and some of us on horses on the horizon.

Baby G was pretty happy to be on the horse.

Chasing (or checking) the cows

One of the very best things about The Farm is going to check cows. I love that Uncle Tom will come running into the house saying that a cow got out somewhere and we all hop onto 4 wheelers or load up in the back of the pick-up and race over to find it (or not find it, whatever the case may be). Watching the dogs move the cows to the right pasture is really a sight to behold. We love checking (and chasing) the cows.

A classic cow checking picture.

Uncle Rick being brave and getting the cows to turn the other way.

Uncle Rick wasn't nearly as effective in getting the cows to move as the dogs were. It is amazing to watch those dogs herd the cattle.

Sophie looking very fox-like chasing the cows.

I love this one of Jake biting this bull's hooves to get him moving.

If you look closely you can see three of the dogs chasing the cows up the hill.

Dreamy, no?

Baby G had fun riding in the Gator while we were checking cows one of the times.

The Food

Aunt Sandi makes the most delicious food. One of the very best things about The Farm is how well we eat there. Steak Rice and Carmel Rolls are two of the things we request every year and Aunt Sandi never disappoints. It was so much fun this year to help cook and to learn how to make some of the delicious things that I usually only get on The Farm.

Aunt Tami, Kim, Mom and Grandma cooking up some goods. Aunt Sandi isn't in this picture which is really sad because she is the brain behind all the deliciousness.

Aunt Sandi pouring the ooey goodness on the dough for Carmel Rolls.

Playing Cards

All of my Farm memories include nights of staying up late playing cards around the kitchen table. Oh how I love that tradition.

The gang playing Phase 10. This particular game lasted at least 5 nights.

Cain's Grove

This was actually the first year we have gone to Cain's Grove. It is near The Farm and is filled with all kinds of rock formations and caves and cool looking stone. We had fun exploring and making the adults (I know that I am technically an adult, but I am considering  myself among the children here) nervous by jumping off of big rocks.

Hannah and I catching some air up on a tall rock.

Josh and Jake are competing in the 2012 Olympics in synchronized rock jumping.

Many yoga poses were struck on high rock formations.

All of us almost falling off. Scary, huh?

Only at The Farm...

...can the little girls wake up, run outside and immediately busy themselves making mud pies for hours

...can we catch large garter snakes and scare the pants off Aunt Sandi.

...can we make ourselves feel like dorks when we realize that while attempting to close the fence behind us we locked Kim on the other side. We like to pretend we're real farmers, but clearly we're not. I love how hard Kim is laughing upon realizing what they had just done and I love Uncle Tom in the background chuckling to himself about these city folk on his Farm.

...can you get this classic picture of your son with wheat in his mouth, and hands in his pockets. Little farm boy. Cracks me right up.

...can a junky old truck look so good. My grandpa is a handsome farmer.

...can you look out the window and see the boys and men on the roof of the old chicken coop putting tin on it.

...can you experience the elation that comes with rain (no irrigation here-- the crops depend on precipitation and it is a happy day when some comes), followed by the anxiety of hail that could potentially destroy the crops.

Farm Scences

The following pictures show some of the beauty and serenity that surrounds us on The Farm. It is truly one of the most picturesque places on the earth.

The old Sunday School building where my Great Grandma is buried.

Farm truck and farm dog. One of my favorite pictures of the week.

Farmer out by a pick up. Love this of Uncle Tom.

Horses, hay bales, sky, land. So beautiful.

Windmill blowing strong in front of farm house.

The memories I have of The Farm are precious to me, and I am so grateful to have a place like that to escape to once in awhile. I am now so grateful that I can continue to share this magnificent place with my family. It was a picture perfect week on The Farm, and we are already planning our next visit. 

The only hard part about it is the looong drive back. The drive there is more manageable because you have The Farm to look forward to, but going home is always a long drive. But this year Baby G and I got so, SO lucky. At the last moment we were able to steal a buddy pass from my very generous Grandma and hop on a plane. We were home in an hour and a half. I think it may have been one of the happiest moments of my life when I got on that plane. Thanks again, Grandma.