Sunday, May 11, 2008

mother dear, i love you so

Baby G with my mom

Having a baby bundle of my very own has been very eye opening for me. There are dozens of things I know now, dozens of feelings I feel now, that I didn’t before my Baby G came. Last Mother’s Day (2 months before Baby came) I didn’t have a full appreciation for the incredible and sacred blessing it is to be given the title of “mother,” and therefore didn’t have as full an appreciation for my own mother’s motherhood.

I had never had occasion to reflect on the fact that I was once a precious baby to a new mother, and that my mother gave me all of the affection, devotion, and love that I now shower upon my little guy. I had never before thought about the way that my mom sacrificed and scrimped and went without for me. I hadn’t ever pictured my mom waking up in the middle of the night to feed me, taking me to the doctor to get my shots, or teaching me how to wave bye-bye.

But since I have become a mother to my baby, I have come to see my mom in an entirely new light—I was her baby. Just as Baby G is mine, I was once her little baby girl and she felt all of the same feelings for me as I do for him. I have been given a glimpse of what she must feel for me now, after 23 years of her serving me and worrying for me and saying prayers for me.

I am in awe of her. She has never once complained to me that being a mom is hard or thankless. I have honestly and truly not ever heard her utter one negative word about her motherhood. On the contrary, however, she is constantly reminding me that having babies is the ultimate joy in life and that nothing will bring more happiness or be more rewarding. I owe so much of who I am to who she was to me when I was her little baby, and also who she is to me now, a mother myself of her first grandbaby.

If I am successful as a mother in any way it will be because of my mom. From the time I was tiny I knew that I was her love and priority just by her actions. Now, I know those things because of our conversations and the way that she encourages me to be that kind of mother to my baby.

My mom gave me the greatest thing that any mother could give her daughter: a deep and abiding reverence and joy for motherhood. I pray that I can pass that along to my children and that they will be able to see from my example that I delight in my role as a mom. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you.

I also want to express my gratitude for my sweet mother-in-law. I will never be able to adequately express to her how overcome I feel when I think about the amazing man that she raised my husband to become. I cannot imagine the heartache and adversity she must've experienced as a young widow with two small children, but because of her strength, nurturing, and unwavering faith, her two kids have become incredible adults. Instead of becoming bitter or angry through her trials, she let them refine and polish her and she has developed so many Christlike qualities that I admire. I have never met anyone that was as eager to serve as she is. I know that if I needed a favor she would drop whatever she was doing to help me. She truly has a heart of gold and I want her to know how much I love her. Happy Mother's Day, Mom J.
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I love Billy Collins' poem The Lanyard. He so sweetly describes the mother/child relationship with both humor and depth and his words resonate with me every time I read them. I have the poem posted below.

7 comments:

Lemme said...

your mom is so pretty...I can see where you get your incredibly good looks!!

Camie & Juan Figueroa said...

It's crazy how much more you appreciate your mom when you become a mom yourself. I'm not officially a mom yet (just a few weeks left though), but I have such a greater appreciation and love for my mom and all the moms out there. You have an awesome mom too! We just come from a family of great moms. Lots to live up! But at least we have wonderful examples to look up to. Happy 1st Mommie's day! Hope you had a great day! Love ya!

Anonymous said...

L. I am so proud of you and the woman you have become. Your mom, my daughter, must be so proud. Every time I am around you, I marvel at how caring and kind you are. Thank you for being a wonderful granddaughter and giving us such a wonderful grandson-in-law and beautiful great grandson. We love you all. gma

Amy said...

Liz! THis is Amy Wright...used to be Zimbelman...I don't know if you remember me, but I was in your Romania prep class and went to Romania with Holly! Anyway, I found your blog through hers, and just wanted to say hi. Your little boy is so adorable!

Woodhouse Clan said...

cute post Liz

the mama monster said...

it's funny how you being a mother makes you want to know everything that your own mother went through. i always am asking my mom, " did i do this?" " was your pregnancy like that" yada yada...your mom is really as great and sweet as you tell it!i love your mom and am so glad that our mamas met and we got to grow up together.

Anonymous said...

Liz,
I'm so happy for your sweet letter and appreciation for me. I needed it today and when I read all you wrote I felt such gratitude.
All the things I went to to raise John was nothing but blessings to me and you are one of the choicest.
Love,
Mom