Thursday, April 26, 2012

the first farewell

I'm trying to prepare myself for all of the changes that are in store for our family in the next few months. I'm trying to check things off of lists and get things in order so that we're physically ready to leave Utah, but I'm also trying to be very mindful in the way that I spend my time. I feel so aware that we are moving away from the people and places that we love, that our final months here need to be filled with soaking those people and places all up. I am so excited for the adventure and growing that lies ahead for our family as we set out for Oregon, and I feel so clearly that we are on the right path. I am also realistically aware, however, that the path we are taking is full of unknowns and there will certainly be challenges. It will be really, really hard to be away from our families. That reality probably hasn't fully sunken in, but there is, like I mentioned, a constant awareness in the back of my mind that, ready or not, we are leaving.

I got a little dose of reality last Sunday as I sat in church. Our dear Bucherts (who live next door) spent their final Sunday in our ward (they are moving so Becca can attend law school), and as I watched Becca up at the organ and Martin with his young men passing the sacrament, I was so teary. We have spent the past 4 years living 50 feet away from them; our children walk in and out of both homes freely, sometimes knocking, sometimes just letting themselves in. Becca and I have spent hundreds of early mornings together working out, and countless hours beyond that just hanging out and talking. She knows and understands parts of me that few others do, and in her I have found a soul sister. Martin and John have spent hours talking and working together-- when one needs a tool or some manual labor, all they have to do is head next door, and they often linger long after a project is finished, talking about some thing that really only the two of them can understand. Saying goodbye to the Bucherts is just the first of many hard farewells in store for us, and on Sunday I became a little more aware of that.

But, on Monday we spent a lovely evening in the canyon with the Bucherts for Family Night and it was such a beautiful night. We hadn't set any concrete plans, just that we wanted to do something outside and be together, so when Martin got home from work a little after 6, we didn't have much time. It was a happy blessing to have the evening come together so quickly and well. Sometimes when things like that are left to the last minute, despite having good intentions, it becomes a comedy of errors where everything goes wrong. I was sort of bracing myself for that, but we were blessed with a pretty perfect evening. We rushed into the store to grab a few things for dinner, John threw some supplies into the trunk, we settled on a location, and we got there. And the night delivered.
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The sun was just setting, the wind was softly blowing, the air was a perfect temperature. We just hung out for a bit, the kids throwing rocks and looking at bugs, while the adults talked.
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We set the camera up to get a couple of photos of the whole group, and let me tell you, the fact that everyone is looking in the right direction is a complete miracle. Also, enjoy George's ninja-painted face, and the residual green fairy paint on Anna, courtesy of Soren earlier that day.
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I cannot get over how much I love Anna and George in this photo. I wish Anna wasn't blurry, but still, when I saw this I melted. They are such buddies.
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John and Martin maneuvered some rocks into a circle and we sat around to eat a simple dinner of rolls with meat and cheese, chips, and stream-chilled soda. We told stories and sang songs (well, we sang one song, and then Eden and Soren sang many others :)), and watched the sky go dark.
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About the time that we should have been packing up, John decided to whip out the camp stove and make some fried bananas. Becca and I were laughing as the dads leisurely and obliviously chatted and continued to cook bananas while we stood on the path with tired children, ready to walk back to the cars.
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We shared a closing prayer together back at the cars, and felt so grateful for the blessings that have come to our families in the time that we've lived here. It seems pretty clear to me that God had a hand in getting us here at this time, with these people. So many of our closest friends here moved in within a very short time span of one another, and, it seems, the time is coming for many of us to move on to the next place. I will always be so, so grateful for the years we spent living next door to our Bucherts.

Monday, April 02, 2012

wind in weather and in thoughts

A couple of weeks ago I was at the park right by our house with my next-door neighbor (and dear friend) Becca and our children. It's one of those glorious things that starts to happen when spring is in the air-- sometimes it's planned (a text from me to her or vice versa: "Going to the park to ride bikes in 10 minutes, wanna come?"), and other times we just find ourselves there at the same time.

I've started keeping a list of things that I am going to miss when we move from this neighborhood, and my hang out time with Becca (both planned and impromptu) is high on the list. As we were sitting on the bench talking and watching our kids run wildly, other people started showing up at our park.

Another thing on my 'miss' list?

The fact that every person who showed up that day (and there were many-- probably at least 5 other families) was a friend that I could call by name and chat with.

I have loved living here so much. Maybe I am particularly attached to it because it is the first place that John and I lived that truly felt like "home." We have lived here for almost five years now-- it is the only home my children have ever known (well, we moved in when George was 3 weeks old), and there are so many memories and moments wrapped up into the space that we've occupied here.

I also think that I am so attached to this place because of the people that are here. Oh how I have grown to love my neighbors! I have found a group of girlfriends here that I will love and cherish for my whole life. They are the best kind of friends, I think, because they are so incredible and inspirational, but I never leave being with them feeling like I'm not good enough. You know what I mean by that, right? There is a difference between being with amazing people who just make you feel inferior and then being with amazing people who make you feel like you are pretty cool yourself-- like your particular talents and gifts (though often different from theirs) are valued and recognized and worthwhile. I feel really lucky.

The whole reason I sat down to post tonight was to post these pictures of my kids flying a kite. Weird what that turned into. Anyway, what I was planning to write was that as Becca and I walked home with our kids from the park that day George started begging me to bring him back with our kite. The wind had picked up and he was dying to fly it. I wasn't sure-- I had no clue where our kite was-- but George solved that problem immediately by proudly producing the kite from the shed. So we waited for John to come home and then we walked the 100 yards back to the park with our kite and camera. Yay for March wind and bare feet.

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Pearl let the kite get away (several times) so George and I chased it down.
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