Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Saturday, November 19, 2011

snowy update

When I get behind on blogging I feel like the journaling and writing get neglected most. I get anxious to catch up and feverishly try to plug away at posts that are mostly pictures with a few sentences of caption. I'm not really a fan of that. I want details and stories recorded. I want feelings expressed in words that I can re-read at a later date. I want memories described in text. I love pictures as much as anyone (we all know that), but I want to write about the details that pictures miss. Someday I want my children to be able to read about the days of their childhood from the words of their mother. So here is a start at what I hope will become a much more consistent part of this space. (Along with some pictures, naturally. These are from the first snowfall of the year that came last Saturday. George woke us up with shrieks of, "It SNOWED! Can we go outside and build a snowman?!" We bundled up and quickly found that one child had a snowsuit that was getting too little, and the other had a snowsuit that was still far too big. Oops. The kids had so much fun, though, and it was especially memorable because it was Pearl's first experience with really playing in snow.)

Photobucket
Photobucket

We have fallen into a pretty good weekly rhythm that we can count on, and, though I am totally a free-spirited polychronic (also described here) party girl at heart, I am grateful for the structure that we have in place to build our days around. Since our outside running weather is gone, a few friends and I have been going to the gym together at 6:00 AM. I get home around 7:15 or so and get myself and the kids ready for school. Three mornings (8:30-12:30) a week (Tuesday-Thursday) all three of us go together to school where George is in his own early childhood Montessori class (with a teacher that I adore), and Pearl is with me in a class where I am the special educator. It is a pretty incredible blessing to our family the way this whole me still teaching thing has worked out, and I am so grateful that we get to all be at the same place together. On Mondays just George goes to school for the morning, and Pearl and I get to spend a few hours just the two of us. George loves school and I love that I have some built-in time that is just for my girl. On Fridays we are free to go whichever way the wind blows us. We can often be found at our neighborhood park, Target, my parents' house, a friend's house, the zoo, or the mall. Sometimes we stay home and do projects or play with cars, "guys," baby dolls, or markers (Pearl's current favorite thing). We have a relatively simple life (though it doesn't always feel that way), and I am so grateful to spend my days with the people I love most. One day I'm sure I'll come back here to read this and long for the simplicity and beauty of this time. That's why I wanted to quickly jot it down.


Photobucket
Photobucket

Speaking of school, both children are really thriving and learning so much. I didn't anticipate that with Pearl (as I would have NEVER put her in a preschool at her age under normal circumstances-- it just works out that she gets to be there because I am there), but holy cow, I am constantly amazed at the way those few hours a week manifest themselves throughout the rest of our days. She loves cleaning up, and will often put her toys and things back where they go without being asked (this is because she has learned to clean up and restore the works at school when she is finished with them). She stacks things constantly (thank you, pink tower),  and tries to roll up dish towels while doing the "pat pat pat" on both sides to keep it neat (the kids either place their works on tables or little work mats that they roll out and roll back up themselves while singing, "Roll up the mat, tap tap tap." It really is so darling.). She has learned the routine at school so well and is usually the first little student to be in her "ready body on line" when she hears the clean-up chimes. Most of the other children in the class are much older than her, but there is one other little boy that is just two weeks younger (he is the son of one of the other teachers). He is bigger than Pearl, but for some reason (probably because he is just beginning to talk and still throws little tantrums when his mama takes something away :)) Pearl insists on calling him "Baby." She calls the other students by their names, and she knows his name, but she is convinced that he is a baby that needs her mothering. If he cries she'll go pat and hug him and say, "Oh, Baby cry. Baby sad." A few weeks ago, she noticed that he had a runny nose, and without missing a beat, rushed over to the "Care of Self" area in the classroom, grabbed a tissue, wadded it up, and went over and wiped his nose while noncholantly commenting to herself, "Baby. Nose." and then threw it away in the trash. She is a confident, assertive, funny, sometimes demanding, little mother-er, and I super love that about her.

Photobucket
Photobucket

George is also a happy little student. He loves math and numbers and is starting to work on place value and basic addition. He knows almost all his letter names and sounds, though his teachers report that they have to really entice him to work in the language/reading area. He is happier in math or practical life. John and I have talked with him about how good it feels to choose and complete some more challenging works because he seems (like most people, probably) to prefer to work in his comfort zone. He'd also almost ALWAYS prefer to work with a friend. His teachers are constantly commenting about how social he is, which occasionally results in a little visit to the "Watching Chair" until he is ready to sit back on line without talking to his friends, but most often is such a dear quality in our boy. We just had parent/teacher conferences and one of the things that his teacher wrote about him was that he is well-liked by all of his classmates and an honest leader in the class community (the honest part is because if he does something he knows he shouldn't do he will readily admit guilt and tell the teacher the whole story which kind of cracks me up).

Photobucket
Photobucket

On Monday I got to accompany George and his class on a field trip to a local farm. When I walked into the classroom to get the students I'd be chaperoning, one of his teachers ran up to me giggling. She had a funny story to tell me about George, she said (this is a regular occurence). When his teachers told George that morning that he would get to be in the group with me as the leader he proudly and joyfully exclaimed, "Yeah!! 'Cause she's my BFF!!" They cracked up laughing. Oh little boy, we really are BFFs, and I am so glad.

Photobucket
Photobucket

I've had to engage in a couple of conversations over the past two weeks that I wasn't expecting to be having so soon with George. They both happened in the car when we've had quiet time to think and talk. I was just driving along minding my own business when George asked, "Mom, how are the babies in the girls' tummies?" I wasn't sure what his question was exactly so I asked for clarification. He said, "When they are mommies their tummies get big with the babies, but when they are girls, their tummies are still small. How are the babies in there?" I explained that babies are not just chilling in little girls' tummies and that when girls get older and are grown up then the babies can get in the tummies. The lightbulb moment came for him, plus an additional, lovely little question: "OH! So the babies aren't in the tummies when the girls are little! So how do the babies get into the grown-up girls' tummies?" I quickly tried to gather together the bits and pieces of my answer for him so that he was given correct information, but without giving him too much information. This isn't a conversation that I am scared to have candidly with him, but I did feel like Holy cow, he is four. He doesn't need details. Edit, Liz, edit. So I edited and ended up saying that the mommy and the daddy create a new little baby together with Heavenly Father. He was totally satisfied with that answer and didn't ask any further questions about what exactly that creative process entails :). In fact, I even said (mostly for fun so John could be in on this too), "George, why don't you ask Daddy that question when we get home," to which he replied, "No Mom, that's silly, we already know the answer. They get created!" So there was that. And then there was the time last week when he asked me (again in the car), "Mom, when do girls get the breasts?" (pronounced "breast-ez," naturally). So we had a conversation about puberty and how boys get hair on their faces and girls get breasts when they are 12 or 13 or 14. He was like, "Yeah, I'll get hair on my face. Probably when I am five." No sir, not you will not. We will delay those milestones as long as possibly, pretty please.

Photobucket

Somehow (I think from Veggietales, actually) George learned about castor oil and has referred to it a couple of times when describing how something disgusting tasted. It's a little funny to hear your four-year-old be like, "Ewww! That is so yucky! It tastes like castor oil!" And then this past week I got some food poisoning and threw up and when George heard about it he said, "Oh, probably because you ate some castor oil, huh Mom."

Photobucket
Photobucket
(She wouldn't keep her mittens on but then got so sad when her hands got frozen)

George got sick about a month ago and was up all night throwing up. In the morning when he woke up I sat down by him at his make-shift bed on our bedroom floor and asked, "How are you feeling, buddy?" He looked up at me and gave a sweet smile and said, "Like I love you." Not exactly the answer I was expecting, but wow does that little tender boy know how to melt his mama's heart. I love him so much.

Photobucket
(George had just thrown a snowball at Pearl here)

Pearl is seriously a little fireball of joy and delight. Yesterday John and I were talking about how completely adorable she is (something that we discuss pretty much daily) and John asked, "Does she just have an enormous personality?" because there really isn't any other way to describe her. Enormous, happy, loving, spicy, independent. Her personality cannot be contained in adjectives.

Photobucket
Photobucket

One of the most precious things about Pearl to me is how much she still loves to nurse, and I am not so sure she'll be ready to give it up any time soon. My plan right now is to wean right around 2 (which is what George did), but I am wondering if she'll be as ready then as George was. I am giving myself permission to extend that if I feel like it isn't going to be a painless transition for her. I am a big believer in child-led weaning, and while I think I can facilitate that a little bit to meet my needs, I am not going to take something away from her that she isn't ready to be finished with. I adore our nursing time. I feel so blessed that I have been able to spend so many hours giving my children this part of me. I will never regret nursing for longer, but I know I'd regret it if I stopped too soon.

Photobucket
Photobucket

Pearl's favorite things (besides her Mama, Daddy, and Brother (who she still refers to as "Bruh Bruh")) are babies and animals. She is obsessed with babies. Mostly real ones (she cannot keep her hands off of the babies at church and her new baby cousin), but dolls will also do. She is especially in heaven if she can push them around in some kind of stroller or shopping cart. She thinks she's a grown-up. She also loves animals, which is fun because George really doesn't care for them much. He doesn't like the way dogs smell and just isn't really a pet lover (aside from our chickens-- he really loves them). But Pearl is another story. She adores my parents' dog, and cannot get enough of looking at animals in books. She tried to steal a horse calendar from a mall kiosk and cried wildly when I made her put it back, "Fosie! Fosie! Want fosie book!" (Fosie is horsey, in case you don't speak Baby.)

Photobucket
Photobucket
(These two pictures are my favorite ones from the day)

George is so patient with Pearl. She steals his toys and messes up the "guys" that he spends hours arranging, and he will just calmly redirect her in his little sing-songy voice, "No no, Pearlie. These are Bruh Bruh's. You go in your room and play with your toys." He does occasionally get frustrated with her persistence (she really loves taking his toys from him and running away while squealing with delight), but he is almost always just so gentle and patient even then. And even though Pearl does love to torment him with things like that, she also just really adores him and wants to be around him all the time. George is a back-scratch lover and can often be found begging anyone nearby to scratch his back. Pearl will always do it for him and it is so heartwarming to walk into the bedroom where they are playing and see George splayed out on his stomach, his shirt pulled up, Pearl leaning over him tickling his back with her small fingers.

Photobucket
Photobucket

This post has been all over the place and got really long. I wanted to document these stories and feelings though, and mostly just want it recorded that I am in love with my little family. I had to get a prescription filled at the pharmacy the other day and when I was told it would take 30 minutes, I decided to take a walk up the street with my two little tagalongs. We ended up at Smashburger at George's request and as we sat there together eating fries and sipping root beer I marveled at how blessed I felt. Even running errands with those two little people turns into a party. There are big moments of overwhelming joy as a parent, and then there are little ones. Little ones that happen over and over again throughout the hours and days that you spend with them, even when (maybe especially when) you were just supposed to be running a pesky errand to the pharmacy.

It's a happy life, this one.

Photobucket

Saturday, July 02, 2011

chasing pteronarcella: in the trenches

The main objective on the collecting trip was to sample rivers and streams and collect insects, obviously. This post will show you what that looks like when you have a toddler and a baby with you. Adventures, for sure, but I love that this is just their lives. This is what they know and it is (and will continue to be) an intertwined part of our family story now. George knows how to just dive in and collect the insects with forceps and transfer them to the alcohol without even being asked. Pearl is fascinated by these icky little creatures and enjoys picking them up with her chubby fingers for closer examination. I am not as naturally thrilled about these bugs as the other three members of my family, but I am learning to be less horrified when a three-inch long stonefly lands on my face and wants to hang out there (those pictures will come in another post). When I think about the direction of John's career path, the overwhelming emotion I have is one of gratitude. Gratitude that he has found a way to do something that he loves and feels so much passion for. Gratitude that it will mean that our family has built-in adventures almost constantly and that our children will grow up with these kinds of experiences just being part of their lives. Gratitude that my horizons and interests will have opportunities to expand as John shares it all with me. I know that it is still a long road and that there will be bumps along the way and that there will be days that I don't like that my kitchen dishes have been turned into bug-filled sorting containers, but right now I just feel really blessed and grateful.

I love these photos because they are just an accurate glimpse into what collecting bugs in rivers looks like for our family. These people are my favorites.
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket

Most of the time our collecting routine consisted of me hanging out with the kids on the banks,
Photobucket

while John went out into the river to kick up some rocks and see what he could find.
Photobucket

Then the whole family would get involved in the sorting/examining process. Notice Pearl reaching right in to help out. I tried to keep her away from the trays as much as I could (ya know, 14 month olds and open containers of alcohol and all), but she was so interested in it all that I had to let her explore a little.
Photobucket

I love George's gigantic stick here and the very pleased look on his face :). This was right about when I would have to put the camera down and run snatch Pearl up before she just trotted right into the water,
Photobucket

I don't mind helping with the sorting of bugs as long as I have forceps. George, on the other hand, is happy to dig right in with his hands. Pearl, too. I am not there yet. Maybe give me a few more years of this and we'll see.
Photobucket
Photobucket

She likes to touch and hold them. I don't get it, but I'm happy she does.
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket

Often times John would be in the river for quite awhile trying to find what he needed, so the kids and I entertained ourselves. Pearl was just starting to take off with walking, so she loved just being free to roam around on her little feet.
Photobucket

And George is happy wherever there is a body of water and rocks/sticks to throw in, so we were good to go for the most part.
Photobucket

At one spot in New Mexico George taught Pearl how to throw rocks into the river herself. I sat back and watched this unfold (with my camera in hand, of course), without any intervening and it was so much fun to watch George show his little sister how to do something that he loved. Pearl was seriously delighted, as you can see. (George is in underwear because he had fallen on the riverbank and gotten his shorts all wet and muddy.)
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Pearl started going for the boulders once she had mastered throwing in the little rocks :).
Photobucket

Here's a close-up shot at what the collecting tray would look like at a particularly successful spot. And look! I was on this trip, too!
Photobucket

Every once in awhile I remembered to give John the camera so that we could document the mama in this family. Here we are walking up from one of the rivers. I was in charge of getting the kids back and forth and John was in charge of getting the bugs back and forth :).
Photobucket

And since we're on a roll of pictures with me in them, here are a couple more of us all looking like we had been camping for a few days (we had). Disheveled and dirty, but happy :).
Photobucket
Photobucket

Camping and hot springs adventures up next.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

becoming the mother

Photobucket
(a little practice we did of Pea's outfit for Christmas Sunday :))

As I find my way through motherhood I am learning that I am the kind of mom that is okay with my babies needing me a few times through the night. I have discovered that I don't expect or need them to sleep all night long when they are little. It is sort of a joy to spend those dark minutes cuddled up in the rocking chair together. I was much more regimented and scheduled with George, and though it was awesome that he was sleeping through the night at 5 months, I am learning that I am not that mother any more. I still had a lot of school teacher in me right after he was born :).

John teases me that I spoil Pearl more than I did George, but the truth is really that I am just figuring out what feels right for ME, as a mother, trusting those things, and moving forward.

It feels more right to me to nurse my baby when she cries at night rather than let her cry it out. It feels more right to me to give her extra cuddles and reassurance when she is clingy rather than get impatient and frustrated that she won't "just go to sleep." I don't feel like I need to make excuses for these things or feel guilty for them-- I feel like I am finding myself as a mother more and more, and I am so grateful to be figuring out what works best in my home, with my children.

I remember feeling so completely conflicted and burdened at the thought of letting George cry it out. So many people told me it was a necessary part of parenting at that stage. (Though I am realizing right now that my own mother was one who told me the opposite-- and I cannot for the life of me remember why I didn't just listen to her.) I believed them, and though things turned out just fine (and I was really grateful that he was such a good sleeper), I cannot get over the peace that comes from following my mother-heart. It feels like freedom, to be honest.

Along those lines, I just came back into my room from nursing Pearl to sleep. For the THIRD time tonight (it is only 9:12). Not sure what is going on with her right now. I'm hoping and praying it will be a short-lived phase because it gets a little more difficult to be upbeat and grateful when you are needed 7 times throughout the night :). Her need clearly isn't nourishment (have you seen those thighs lately?), but I am actually pretty happy to still be nursing her a few times throughout the night. I REALLY want to keep my milk supply up and continue to get her as many of her calories through breastmilk as possible. Nursing is like an addictive drug to me. I love it so much.

Other things I could be addicted to?

Pregnancy. Childbirth. Babies.

I know I sound like a ridiculous, stereo-typical baby-making machine, but really, I can't help myself. I didn't know I would be like this (though I could have expected it-- the two women I admire most in the world honored pregnancy, childbirth, and having children as sacred and miraculous and the greatest blessing in their lives), and I surprise myself sometimes when I get that feeling of wanting to add another baby to our family. I almost want to talk myself out of it. Pearl is only 9 months, it is too soon! It took me SO long to feel ready for baby #2, but baby #3? I was ready months ago.

This isn't an announcement, and I don't plan on being pregnant any time soon. I am just sharing some thoughts. I just really love being pregnant. And I really love giving birth. And I really love breastfeeding. And I feel like the window of time in my life that I get to do/be those things is so small in comparison to everything else and I want to squeeze and wring every last drop out of it all.

This wasn't the post that I sat down to write tonight, but it just kind of happened. I guess the point is that I am feeling really grateful to be a mother, to have the opportunity to discover what being a mother means for me, specifically, and to be surrounded by so many good mothers who have taught me the essence of mothering. I feel really humbled and thankful.

Here are a few pictures of my littlest. I just love her so. (I just realized that all of these pictures were taken in the same spot-- the deliciously soft and delightful rug in her room (we call it our "plush piece of heaven" and can often be found hanging out there). There must be good light in her room or something, I didn't realize that I gravitate there to snap photos.
Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

These next four pictures are taken one right after another of Pearl discovering her headband, discovering she doesn't like it, and pulling it off.
Photobucket
Photobucket

And then I put her down to sleep and was most impressed by the crazy wave that her funny hair was doing so I snapped a picture. Goodnight!
Photobucket